This is an article I read from the ‘Mens Health – Big Black Book Of Secrets’. It is a book that I recieved with the Mens Health Subscription.
Anyway, one of the articles was about ‘How To Be a Good Dad’. At the end of this rather interesting article was ’10 Lies Every Parent should Tell’.
Some of them I thought were funny and the others ‘Right On’. I tacked my comment on the end of each one. So here they are:
1. “The tooth fairy called. She said the way you’re behaving, you might as well keep the tooth“. Parents threaten consequences all the time, but it helps to have a strong third party on call to bring perspective. From Halloween on, throw all your disciplinary needs onto Santa’s lap. (That would have so worked for me)
2. “Monsters like to eat dust bunnies. I bet you’re going to get lots of monsters in this room”. Call it a cleanliness incentive plan. (It would not have worked for me)
3. “Mommy and Daddy are not fighting; we are rearranging the kitchen”. Kids might not buy this one, but in our desire to be right, we jump into fights even if it means exposing our kids to adult conflicts. Need to scream? Get them out of the house first. (My parents did not fight – true)
4. “Mommy and Daddy are’nt fighting; we’re playing leapfrog, On the bed“. (with no clothes on?). In case the makeup sex gets out of hand. (I would believe the leapfrog – the thought of my parents having sex! UGH)
5. “Reading books will make you a millionaire“.
In todays screen-dominated world, kids must grow up knowing that books, not blogs, will unlock the secrets of their universe. (depending on what they read I agree)
6. “Don’t worry, sweetie, that can’t happen here”
Um, sure it can. Murder, terrorism, earthquakes-they can strike anytime, anywhere. But parents must be kiddie pepto-bismol: coat them, soothe them, relieve them.(Totally agree, they should not have to worry about anything – they will be adult long enough)
7. “I know everything”
Before teachers, coaches, and the kid down the street get their shot, parents must be a child’s go-to encyclopedia for all of life’s questions. The important thing is that your children, not you, believe it. (My Dad was always right – lets say I would never question his answers)
8. “That guy is homeless because he didn’t eat his vegetables”.
If you really stretch it, ther’s science to back this up, given the importance of nutrition to brain health. More important, this lie teaches cause and effect, and gives your child the power to determine his destiny. (well put, must have taken a while to think that one up)
9. “I am not afraid”.
Your smile is their Kevlar vest, your hug, proof that everything will in fact be okay, no matter how bleak reality might be. (very hard when you are about to do a bungee jump).
10. “This is Dad’s special juice, and it’s poison to children”.
Happy hour is sacred ground, folks. (This I totally agree with)