Tag Archives: British

Another Funny-British Humour

Well I thought it was funny.

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The World Economy Explained With Two Cows

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SOCIALISM 

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM 

You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM 

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM 

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM 

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM 

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION 

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION 

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION 

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

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New Moon – Fresh Start For 2014

2014

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A Little bit of historical information about New Year from Wikipedia

New Year is the time at which a new calendar year begins and the calendar’s year count is incremented. In many cultures, the event is celebrated in some manner. The New Year of the Gregorian calendar, today in worldwide use, falls on 1 January (New Year’s Day), as was the case with the Roman calendar. There are numerous calendars that remain in regional use that calculate the New Year differently.
The order of months in the Roman calendar was January to December since King Numa Pompilius in about 700 BC, according to Plutarch and Macrobius. It was only relatively recently that 1 January again became the first day of the year in Western culture. Until 1751 in England and Wales (and all British dominions) the new year started on 25 March – Lady Day, one of the four quarter days (the change to 1 January took place in 1600 in Scotland).[2] Since then, 1 January has been the first day of the year. During the Middle Ages several other days were variously taken as the beginning of the calendar year (1 March, 25 March, Easter, 1 September, 25 December).[citation needed][where?] In many countries, such as the Czech Republic, Italy, Spain and the UK, 1 January is a national holiday
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Did You Know – 05/09/2013

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1. Love this one – According to the British Medical Journal, Women who had more that three alcoholic drinks a week over 10 years reduced their rheumatoid arthritis risk by about half – Drink on ladies

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2. Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration hence its use for legal ads. It also speeds metabolism.

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3. A bird’s heart beats 400 times per minute while resting and up to 1000 beats per minute while flying.

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4. At the height of its power, in 400  BC , the greek city of Sparta had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves.

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5. In medieval France cheating wives were made to chase a chicken through town Naked.

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6. The “Zip” in the Zip code stands for Zone Improvement Plan.

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