Category Archives: Articles

Marc Métral and his talking dog Wendy wow the judges | Audition Week 1 | Britain’s Got Talent 2015

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Nature By Design

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The World Economy Explained With Two Cows

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SOCIALISM 

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM 

You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM 

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM 

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM 

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM 

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION 

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION 

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION 

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION 

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

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Poem Friday 04/17/2015 – They Would Put Me In Jail

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At the races and only just in their 20’s how fabulous they look
My Mum and Dad so young and happy, great times together they took

They could never have imagined what the future could bring them both
My Dad died rather young my Mum with Dementure no sign of improvement or growth

For those loved ones who were close and have passed this way
Watch over my Mum. May she join you? She is in a place she does not want to stay

She says “I am trying to be brave but my heart hurts so much”
With a mountain of tears she sobs on my shoulder, for goodness sake Dad come get her, she needs your strong touch

Like many, in this world Dementure takes a hold
To a home they are sent – “they will take care of you she is told”.

They lose their home, their identity and in her case her dog
They give them drugs to ease the pain, so their mind is calmed into a fog

Yep my Mum she has lost her dog the one thing she holds dear
My beautiful Mum says “I never dreamt in my lifetime I would be in a place like here

Mum is now going 95 and wishes to die each day
Surely we have the right to decide for ourselves, how and which way

I feel her pain, her emptiness, her loss of pride
A home of many vacant minds, there is no place for her to hide

Why is it that the law will not bend?
Because society decides, with no quality of life, we must live right to the end?

She is now not safe, within a few weeks, to be on her own
The length of her future or the quality is surely not known

God show mercy and bring her some peace
Help her hurt go away, make it cease

She asks – “Is this purgatory for me here right now?” I don’t know
Not being a Catholic, I know you are a great person Mum so Heaven is where you will go
So when you get there give my Dad my Brother a big hug and you can from me say hello

“Can you give me a pill that could put me asleep permanently and not fail”
“Mum I so would but its illegal and they would put me in Jail”

The great pain I feel for her and the many tears I shed
I think we all need to consider for us what lies ahead

They say we choose our parents before we enter this earth
Well we should have the right to leave as we chose our birth

Well Mum I am no longer with you in person and I know you are lonely and becoming frail
Euthanasia is an illegal option, my dear Mum I would if I could but they would put me in jail

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Sometimes We Just Need To See Happy Pictures

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Air New Zealand You Are Ripping Me Off

Screwed

Screwed

I very rarely complain – do I? Well this time I am, and so pissed off.  It is not the first time this Airline has overcharged (in my opinion). For changing a flight date ($400) for what i believe a compassionate reason (Mother gravely ill) and not only did I have to pay that ridiculous price for changing my flight date they downgraded me to economy even though I had paid for a Works Deluxe seat. By this time I had almost paid for a ticket to America and back. Once again paying for a ‘Works Deluxe’  seat this week ($603 one way from Tauranga) I was ushered to an economy seat. This has not happened once it has happened twice. This ticket allows you into the lounge. Well I bloody near had to tackle the host to get in as they told me my ticket did not allow entrance to this area. Word of advice” Always Always” keep your online ticket to show proof (which I did thank goodness) of your purchase. Don’t assume that your passport is enough proof. These airlines can change your ticket and without you realizing they have downgraded you not upgraded. They do so without verbally letting you know.
This last trip the staff very nicely put me in a seat with more room ‘BUT NO ENTERTAINMENT’ it was not working – so I just had to drink more wine – Thanks to that very nice steward on flight NZ139
If they had upgraded me this letter would not exist.
Anyway I feel better now for getting this off my chest but a word of warning to all those who travel with Air New Zealand always check your boarding ticket to make sure you get what you paid for before you leave the counter.

Air-New-Zealand

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House Truck Transforms Into Fantasy Castle

This is ingenious!  Not everyones cup of tea but you have to admit it is very clever.  A great deal of thought of  design has gone into this with remarkable results.

Take a look and I am sure you will agree especially if you are the outdoor type or think out of the box.

 

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